I don't know where to start. Like most men whose wife has been diagnosed with cancer, I refused to believe it was true.  Sure, I knew it was real.  I trust science, not mythology.  But my mind is wired to deny things that are difficult to comprehend.

Let me start by saying I am very emotional for a man.  I cry during movies, especially stuff where guys don't know their dads or men lose their wives or children.  Good lord, don't start me on losing a child.  I'm numb to the real world, but if a kid dies in a movie, I'm devastated.  I have problems.

We have two children.  Garrison is almost 3 and Brooks is 8 weeks.  When my wife Susan was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks ago, it wasn't like it was a real thing.  Tears flowed, but cancer is beatable, right?  They took out her sigmoid colon, her uterus and her ovaries.  Nobody needs those things to live, but when they get taken out, there is a reason.  Never a good one.  She is working on recovering from surgery, then she'll deal with chemo and everything else.  She's a lot tougher than me.

I don't know where I am going with this blog but maybe I can share my feelings and maybe other people will read it and offer advice, maybe others will relate. I don't know. I just need to get my feelings down and this is better than Facebook.